On the back of my last blog about confidence, I wanted to share some personal reflections and some of the experiences that have shaped mine.
I’m not saying I’m the most confident person, but I do like to push myself to grow.
People often talk about confidence as though some people are born with it.
I don’t believe that.
I think confidence is built, often in the moments you feel least ready.
Some of the things that have grown my confidence the most started with nerves, uncertainty, and how am I going to do this?!
Opening my first shop 14 years ago is one of them.
Because the truth is, I had no real idea what I was doing.
No business plan.
No money behind me.
No grand strategy.
Just a willingness to work hard, help others and make it happen.
Looking back, that was confidence, even though I probably didn’t call it that at the time.
It was backing myself before I had proof.
And maybe that’s what confidence often is.
Not certainty.
But belief mixed with action.
That first shop led to another and this time felt less daunting.
Training for the Great North Run when I didn’t think of myself as “a runner.”
Taking on a 100-mile bike ride to prove to myself I could.
And then there was the theatre…
I hadn’t done anything on stage since school, and even then I was usually in the background.
Performing felt like something for other people and something both of my children did at the time... not me.
Not for me.
But I wanted to push myself.
So I auditioned for a comedy role in our local theatre almost just for the hell of it… to challenge myself.
And somehow I got the part.
And I can still remember waiting to go on stage that opening night…
I was petrified.
My mouth went dry.
My throat felt like it had closed up.
I was so nervous I could barely believe I’d put myself in that position.
And to make it even more surreal I even had a solo to sing.
Me.
Singing solo on stage in front of hundreds… when I wasn’t a performer!!
It felt wildly outside anything I’d ever imagined doing.
Terrified… but I did it anyway.
And I think that taught me one of the biggest lessons about confidence:
You don’t have to feel fearless to be brave.
Sometimes bravery is simply doing it with shaky hands and a dry mouth.
And so much confidence and growth is built in those moments.
So much confidence is built by doing the thing you thought wasn’t for you.
None of these things started with confidence.
They started with a decision.
A decision to try.
To stretch.
To say yes before I felt ready.
People often say,
“I can’t run.”
But often “I can’t” really means…
I haven’t yet.
Or perhaps,
I might find it difficult.
And that’s different.
Because difficult doesn’t mean impossible.
It just means it may ask something of you.
And often the things that ask something of us are the very things that grow us.
I’ve learned confidence doesn’t come from staying comfortable.
It comes from pushing boundaries.
From collecting proof that you can do hard things.
From believing in yourself enough to begin.
You don’t become confident and then do brave things.
You do brave things… and confidence grows.
If there’s something calling you to try, begin or step towards… maybe this is your sign.
Because often the things we’re proudest of sit just outside our comfort zone.
I hope this encourages you to believe in yourself a little more, and maybe push beyond something that’s been holding you back.
Amy x